Psychological Reversal

I read yesterday about psychological reversal. My greatest dream is to be a nationally published author and have my books be bestsellers, right? But then why don't I work on these novels? Why don't I push forward towards this dream?

I haven't written anything new in a week, which in the life of a writer (especially me, since I write at least something every single day) is a friggin' eternity! There are many novel-ish things on my to-do list, but every time I think about it, I go back to puttering about something else. In the case of the past week, I got an unexpected burst of nonfiction writing done for my job. I like the money in the bank, but I'm not doing what I love to do. Grrrr!

It's a matter of psychology. The negative programming about being a writer as a career is so strong it overcomes my biggest dream. So, I sabotage myself by not going after my dream and not pushing forward through my fears. There is psychological reversal. The programming that writers never make any money, so I'll be doomed to starve, and I'm shy and don't have social skills and will never be good at marketing are both strong enough to keep me from having the personal power to go after my dream.

When I feel deeply and to the core about something, it certainly shows up in my actions. My strong opinions about money have propelled me forward into the frugal life many times, even going so far as to sell eBooks about it! So, where is that motivation with my writing?

I want deep and strong feelings about being a writer to push me forward and propel my actions. I want my writing emotions to be so strong that I don't even think about it. I just feel deeply about what I feel, and so I take action. It doesn't occur to me to second-guess myself - why would I?

I feel to my gut that once I get my psychological reversal under control and I go after that writing dream with as much heart and enthusiasm as I put into living frugally, then everything else will fall into place. My moodiness will lessen, my income will expand, my life will align, my priorities will be in their proper place, and I will have the blessing of the gods. I have Leo in the third house (astrologically speaking), so I know that queen-power is within me. I have the ability to be the top of my field, not because I want to step on anybody, but because it will be living in my light.

I am motivated to do this. I want good feelings about writing. I don't want bad feelings anymore. I want to associate only good with my writing, to look at setbacks like rejection letters or the months a novel requires as all par for the course. The cost of doing business, and it motivates me to try harder. I don't want to shrink and make myself small anymore.

If J. K. Rowling (a Leo herself!) had made herself small, I wouldn't know about her and I wouldn't have been able to read her books. Same with my favorite authors. To be small is to limit my voice and miss out on the opportunity to pay it forward, to move the passion of writing and books forward to another new set of eyes. I am like a channel, where words pass beneath my eyes, enter my heart and my mind, then are transformed into new stories and passed along to new eyes.

To get this psychology reversed as fast as possible (for I am not the patient sort!), I put a StickyNote on my computer desktop that reads:

"Writing makes me feel so good that I go after my dream with heart and gusto."

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We all do what makes us feel good. People who are on a naturally healthy diet don't need a motivational coach to stay on that diet - the proof is in the way they feel, so they keep doing it. I'm of the firm belief that motivational input ain't needed if what you're doing makes you feel good.

Let's not live small. Let's not live in the dark, outside of our light. Be big and dream big. Go after the dream that makes you feel the best, and that's where the good stuff is.

That's where you shine the most! :)