Writer's Block Sucks

Yes, yes it does. I've been in it for almost two months, except for finishing Chapter 1 of "The Heart of a Lie." That was more a freak stars-lining-up moment, since I haven't been feeling up to writing anything for so many weeks.

Writer's block is a block .... a block of stone that sits heavily in my mind and shuts out any good light. It's nasty, it's insipid, it traps and pins me. It's all tied up in deep emotional crap like self-doubt, lack of confidence, feeling alone, feeling the weight of failure. I wish I could never feel like that again.

But I will, since it's the dark part of being a writer. How can I get out of it next time? How can I at least ease the passage? It's a time of rest. It comes in its own time and stays as long as it wants. It's a shadowy and unwanted guest. It disregards goals.

I'd already been suffering under it in August, so when the new September month dawned I made the goal of finishing my novel. It seemed rather easy, and also coincided with a New Moon on August 28th. I was ready. But I wasn't ready for all the emotional drama that hit me in September, from personal to my career. My publicist dropped me due to my inherent artistic temperament (read: moody), and said she wasn't prepared to deal with me. I am still hurt, but I am starting to feel better. I know my strengths, and being a publicist for my own works is not a strength. My strength is writing.

But now September is coming to a close and October is around the corner. These eight weeks of writer's block now is starting to feel like a newly dug pond, where I can return again and again to fish out the deep emotions I need for getting to the heart of my stories. But the pain of digging it has both exhausted and renewed me.

My writer's block has sucked. Now it just may be the thing to help me.

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Chapter One is Finally Finished

Well, I'm giving myself a pat on the back today. I've finally finished Chapter One of "The Heart of a Lie." Whew, what a relief. The first four chapters are completely finished now. Chapter Five needs another scene written, but Chapters Six, Seven and Eight are ready. Many other chapters are done, some need minor tweaking, but I'm well on my way to finishing this thing!

I write out of order, not from page 1 to page 300, but all over the place. So much of the book is done, but Chapter One was giving me a headache.

I woke up to a rainy cold gray day, I lit a candle, warmed up my coffee and the rest of those scenes in Chapter One just poured out. I haven't felt like writing in "The Heart of a Lie" for several weeks, so I'm not surprised it all came tumbling. I really love this story. Esther's voice is so clear in my head.

The mood of this novel is so important. It's a New England Gothic story with these strange and sinful secret undertones that run throughout. The bright days of summer were not conducive to writing a story about darkness, but the rain helped today. I'm glad, for it's time I finished.

I can see it and the end is near. It feels good. Pretty soon I'll be able to hold this book in my hands, as I have been able to hold "Daniel's Garden." There will be a second novel to sell under my name through Amazon and Kindle. I love working on my stuff. It's such a feeling of deep contentment and satisfaction. Everything lines up inside and I'm not fighting myself.

I am simply being and doing what I'm meant to.

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